January 28, 2008
1. Michigan State - Beast Man - does the right hand man of Skelator look familiar? Beast Man is a "man-beast who can summon most of the wild creatures of Eternia to aid Skeletor's schemes." Now replace man-beast with Sparty and equate Spartan fans to wild creatures and I think you are on to something.
2. Indiana - Trap-Jaw - "a cyborg warrior with a mechanical, sharp-toothed jaw with a deadly bite, and a robotic arm onto which he can slot a wide range of different weapons." Having Eric Gordon out the outside and DJ White on the inside gives IU the widest range of weapons in this league.
3. Purdue - Ram-Man - "He is portrayed generally as a comical character, slow and dim-witted with an almost child-like mentality." The analogy is based mostly on looks but I asked a Hoosier fan I know and he agreed, Purdue fans are slow and dim-witted. So based on that scientific poll, I'm right.
4. Wisconsin - Skelator - pure evil and nobody likes them (or ever will). "The Evil Lords of Destruction and is the greatest threat to present day Eternia."
5. Ohio State - Cringer/Battle Cat - sometimes appear timid and weak (when facing the SEC for instance), then later is ferocious and ready to take on anybody (what I saw on Saturday vs. MN).
6. Iowa - Evil-Lyn - read Wisconsin (above) except bigger pussies.
7. Minnesota - Man-E-Faces - A team that is lacking an identity and has a "power" that is actually useless. Can change personalities to be smart, then strong, then human but never more than one at a time.
8. Illinois - Orko - "Orko is inept, with his spells often backfiring with humorous results." Sounds like coach Weber's recent recruiting efforts.
9. Michigan - Prince Adam - the alter ego of the powerful He-Man. This analogy is rather simple... Michigan Hoops is to Prince Adam as Michigan Football is to He-Man.
10. Penn State -Mer-Man - without Claxton the Nittany Lions are like a fish out of water (?, this one is bad but there are only so many He-Man character to work with here).
11. Northwestern - Teela - looks good, but no real abilities.
Maybe next week a GI Joe post if I feel up to it.